LIES IN AMERICA!!!!

Hello Readers.

So, as I was reading our hilarious blog, I saw Rachael's new post "I Can Use BIG WORDS!".

Just FYI, that is the definition Websters gives you. My theory is that Websters is brainwashing you to think those are the definitions, because she is trying to take over the world... although I think she died a while back. The technicalities are a little skecthy but, just looking at those words, anyone can see that those definitions are ridiculous. Come. On.

For instance:
Rachael said: "Pyrokinesis- basically, lighting something on fire with your mind."
IT SHOULD MEAN: Pirates that invade your mind. Probably cooked up by Webster, which is why, Webster tells you otherwise. Oh Merriam.

Rachael said: "Cryokinesis: controling the element of ice."
IT SHOULD MEAN: People that cry all the time and invade your mind, making you insane. Aka depressing people. This is also a form of mind control that drives you insane... go Merriam.

Rachael said: "Aerokinesis: control of air molecules"
IT SHOULD MEAN: Ok. So, for America, we say airplanes right? For British people, they say aeroplanes. SO BASICALLY, this is another word for BRITISH AWESOMENESS AT HIGH ALTITUDES. And someone doesn't want everyone to move to Britain before they can inact their evil plot. *cough, cough* MERRIAM WEBSTER.

Rachael said: "Transmutation of Matter: changing of a matter into another matter with their mind"
IT SHOULD MEAN: Transmutation... aka HYBRIDS. Merriam MUST BE MAKING SUPERHYBRIDS OF AWESOME PEOPLE. Like me and Rachael.... *commence Jaws theme*

Rachael said: "Thoughtform projection: a physically perceived person, animal, creature, object, ghostly entity, etc., created in the mind and projected into three-dimensional space that can be seen by others (aka Thoughtography)"
IT SHOULD MEAN: Hallucinations, anyone?

Rachael said: "...found out that the umbrella term for being "psychic" is psychokinesis or psychokinetic energy. The term basically breaks down to this: the word is Greek."
IT SHOULD MEAN: Crazy people that invade your mind.


Anywho, these are just ideas. But just in case I am right, be on the lookout for pirates, depressing people, and crazy teenage girls that write blogs under strange names with underscores...
Nahhh.

Love (except YOU Merriam Webster. I'm watching you.)
Haley_is_British