That was a close one. Not.

In my mad frenzy of decluttering and cleaning, I "accidentally" deleted this very blog. Oops. No really. Not. Anyway, moving on. Yeah. This isn't getting many views/much use/any reason to stay here. But whatever. I've fallen into a great hole of nothingness so I won't be on here much anymore. Darn those neverending vortexes. So without further ado, I'll be back to my hole now.

Toodaloo.

AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH.....

PSYCH!

So, as most should know, Etsy is the greatest place in the universe (or at least the internet). Vintage galore. But, anyway, that's not why I'm posting. Tomorrow, if I remember (HA! Good luck) I'll post an entire recap about Thrift Store Raid Night! But I probably won't remember, so don't hold your breath.
Vintage is the greates thing on the planet. I say 'planet' because stars are awesome-er. They just are. Sorry, vintage. Nevertheless, vintage still holds a special place in my heart. Right next to the blood.
There's been a slight delay in our awards show. We're still deliberating on certain nominees, categories, etc. But, rest assured, when we decide, it will be AWESOME.
And here's why:
1) Gaspard Ulliel is involved which will automatically make this little thing a whole lot better.
2) The awesome-est people in the world AKA your dictators are hosting it :D Just smile and nod, now.
3) It will have every category. From Best Ninja Drawing to Longest Email to Best Decade (fashion-wise, of course). And many, many more.
Stay tuned and we hope to post that darned thing soon. But, soon, for me, means about 3 months for the rest of you mortals and/or sane individuals.
Ta ta for now, and hopefully, next time, it'll be in all-out Awards Show Garb.

Did You Miss Me?!

That's right children! The magnifecent Haley_is_British is bacccckkkk.

Anywho hello there! So much has been going on, I can't even begin to tell you. So I won't.

Insteaddd I will talk about something totally random but wonderful.

The next post I do will be uber spectacular. It's called the Awards of Awesomeness as Agreed Upon by Haley_is_British and Rachael_Writes_On, Though The Awards Themselves Are Not That Awesome As They Do Not Exist, And The People That Get Them Are Probably Only Awesome to Haley and Rachael Because That's Just How They Roll Awards. Or, for short, the A.O.A.A.A.U.B.H.I.B.A.R.W.O.T.T.A.T.A.N.T.A.A.T.D.N.E.A.T.P.T.G.T.
A.P.O.A.T.H.A.R.B.T.J.H.T.R.A.

Okay, the title isn't actually that short... but still! It shallt be epic.
Soooo the next blog post you read (or don't read, whatever) shall be amazing. So wear your fancy dresses and high heels, and be prepared for the Fashion Police on our Virtual Red Carpet. Because they're allllways watching. ALWAYS. LIKE NOW!

Bet you regret wearing those fuzzy slippers, eh?

Anywho, I have to go pick out a rainbow feather number for the awards show.

Love, (even those of you that will get called out by the Fashion Police... well, most of you.)
Haley_is_British

It's An All-Out Pow-Wow!

I'll get to the important stuff first but! In MOST important (but also irrelavant) news, I have a question: If a female psychic fell overboard on a cruise ship and floats, does that make her clairBOUyant?
Just asking. I had something else to say but now, I really can't remember.

**EDIT**

I remember now! Something about pizza! And bands. And pow-wow-ness.
THAT'S RIGHT!
ANOTHER BAND IS COMING TO OUR SCHOOL!!!
That's all I have to say. For now.
Oooooooh SPARKLY! *sparkle sparkle*

Just About The Funniest Thing I've Ever Seen.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=9pPIHvPhvkA&feature=related

Oh, man. Monkeys. They're just so darn funny.

Haley. Haley Haley Haley. Haley is odd apparently.

Haley looks like...

- she's about to claw my eyes out.

BAHAHAHAHA. Depends on who you are.

-looks like a miniature version of Greg, if he'd been a girl.

... Who the heck is Greg?


Haley likes....

-the same places fungus likes.

THAT'S SO MEAN!

- to play

Yes. Yes I do. What now sucker?


Haley says...

-he was surrounded by a crowd of excited men.

Ahh. This is the guy whose eyes I must claw out, correct?

-L.Johnson has a "clean slate" with the Chiefs.

Say what now?


Haley wants...

-Matt and Boldin.

...?

-to wish us all a "Merry Christmas!"

Happy Holidays, apparently.


Haley hates...

-Anorexic people.

Hahaha they're bony, I can take them!

-me.

Who is me? The dude whose eyes I scratched out? Buddy, don't take it personally.

Haley can...

- run the rats out of Valley Ranch.

.... questionable. I do not enjoy chasing rodents of any sorts.

- sing.

BAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA. Oh Google, you're so silly!

Haley is...

- just posing for pictures like the ladies in the furry old pictures.

................... so confused.

- my hero.

Yay! Whoever you are...

Haley loves...

- Luke.

Luke who?! Luke who?! WHO IS LUKE?! IS HE BRITISH?!

- Danny.

...I get around.

Haley reads...

-selected Polish poetry.

Uh huh. Cuz that's how I roll. Polish style.

- Can You Moo?

Yes I can. Moooooooo.

COOLLLLLDDDDDPPPPLLLLAAAAAYYYYY!!!

It's official now!! Haley, Kimmey and I are going to a COLDPLAY CONCERT!!!!!!!!

This is exhilarating!! Ahh, now that that's taken care of.

I Just HAD to Try This...

Okay, so I got this thing from another blog and I want to try it so here goes nothing. And I do mean nothing.

Rachael looks like...
-she was born with that hat on and a cigar in her hand
That is messed up.
-what a real woman should look like
Is that a compliment?

Rachael likes...
-him alot
Him? Who's him?? I need a him!
-to take pictures
I guess...I'm completely unphotogenic so I guess I'd rather be behind the lense.

Rachael is...
-having a baby
No I'm not. They tested for that at the ER :P
-now a full time teacher
I'm not patient enough to be a teacher...

Rachael wants...
-to go home
I am home.
-a nap
True. It's 11:18pm.

Rachael says...
-yes to edible lip balm!
No Comment.
-she wants "her" coffee

Rachael does...
-it big
Woooooow.
-donuts
Donuts ARE delicious.

Rachael can...
-fix your leaky tap.
Hey, I'm no plumber.
-plan a future
That's for darn sure

Rachael loves...
-the orphans
Go orphans. Woot woot.
-her new phone
It's not really new but I do love it!

Rachael reads...
-to Tom
Who's Tom?
-to Ryan
WHO'S RYAN AND WHY DO I READ TO HIM???

Rachael writes...
- a quarterly column for the American Christian Fiction
I find that hilarious.

Rachael cooks...
-mustard steaks.
Thank you, Rachael Ray.

All I've figured out is that someone has a website call rachel.writes.net and that if you type Rachael into Google all you get is about fifty million things about that cooking lady that talks to ingredients. Coocoo coocoo.

Happy March Patrons!!

So today that new show premiered, Running in Heels. I had to watch it just because and might I say that those girls were Bs with Itches. And some MAJOR itches at that.

Anyhoo, I'm all healed from the surgery and I should be back to doing P.E. in no time :P But until then, I'll continue to sit out.

A recent MURDER by my grandma's house started a domino effect for me and my friend (Not Haley) and I started another story in which she will do the editing and cover design and whatnot. Not fair if you ask me. She gets the fun parts.

And that's all the news for today.

Until next time, readers, GOODBYE!!

Commercials: They Have a Good Side

Okay, so I will explain the title in a moment. But first of all, more important business.

DEV PATEL!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Okay, I am calm. But needless to say, the Academy Awards were awesome in every sense of the word possible. I laughed, I cried, I laughed so hard I started crying. And I got stalked by a creepy jumbo carboard cut out and had to run away in heels. It was muy bueno.

Okay anywho, the commercial thing.
Today "Penguin" from Otis' blog, and my other friend Kimmey (yes the one that loves cardigans and got married to Whosie-whatsie-dude-face.) made some pretty sick commercials today. Actually we hardly did, we just goofed off. But does that make it any less awesome? I thinkith notith.

Oh and Otis, the theories will live on.

Love, (you too Dev. Gosh you look good in a tux.)
-Haley_is_British

I'm ALIIIIIIVE!!

Well, I don't think any of you read Otis/Megs/Kirit's blog but they've been talking about me basically non-stop. Yes, I got my appendix out. Yes, I'm fine. No, It doesn't hurt.
Bottom Line: Hospital's SUCK.
Anyhoo, Mandy, good luck with your surgery, when they wake you up every two hours to take your blood pressure, don't say I didn't warn you.
"Oh, dear, your blood pressure is 86 over 60! That's low!!"
"No duh, I've been sleeping. It's 2am."
But in other news, I have no other news!! Ahhh I crack myself up...

Oh, btw, Mandy, I know what you're playing in band next!! I had to copy it today and then mail it to Camarado. =)

I really want a brownie right now....

NAME CHANGE!!! and other less important stuff.

I changed the name and the URL. I'll keep the old URL up with a link to the new one but I got annoyed at the old name. Obviously, if you found this then.....you know. But anyway.

Okay so I've just decided: FRENCH POP IS COMPLETELY AND TOTALLY AWESOME. That is all. Uh....Scroll down to see Kimmey lost in the snow and that's about it. Ta ta for now!!

Oh NOOOOO!!!!!

OH NO!!! TERRIBLE NEWS!!!!
KIMMEY IS STUCK IN THE MIDDLE OF NOWHERE WITH NO POWER! SHE'S SNOWED IN?!!?
WHATEVER WILL WE DO?!

Poor Kimmey. I can picture her now.
Curled up in the fetal position, no books, no puppy.
Hopefully she has enough cardigans to keep her warm.

Good luck Kimmey. We'll miss you.

Love (especially the new music I bought on iTunes.)
Haley_is_British

REJECTION!!! It buuuuurns. Not really.

Well, I was expecting that but it still came as a sort of shock. I guess I had been hoping even when I had told myself not to. I don't listen to myself very well. Anyway, I opened my email and saw that tell-tale email. Saaad. Well I decided that instead of getting all technical-y and trying to get an agent, I'll just go straight to publisher--when I'm good and ready. (That way, I won't blow it again) I figure I'll practice on some random agents. hahaha. And if I get accepted well, badabing!! Killing 2 birds with 1 stone here.

Now, for the more important part of this post. HALEY!!!!! That agent you told me to submit to? Ha, WRONG PERSON!! Maureen Johnson and Meg Cabot's agent is Lexa Hillyer. Niiice, Nelson. Oh, and, btw, she now works for Razorbill and she's looking for "...chick lit, realistic fiction for girls and some paranormal stories, but is always looking for the next great thing with a fresh story, fun hook and impressive prose." So, What. Now.
*grumble grumble* must print story for ex credit now. And kill the virus on my computer. Poor thing, didn't have a chance. DIE! It's the curse of the trojan. Its a virus AND our school mascot.

How. Could. I. Be. So. Absolutley. Completley. RETARDED????

I. Forgot. A. Query. Letter.
*hits self on forehead*
Don't worry though, readers, I shall resend, claiming my mistake (thx megan) and then apologize. And send into like 50 other agents.
But there's actually one publisher that might actually look at my unsolicited manuscript. And that publisher is? Well, you may have heard of Razorbill. They publish half of my favorite books.
1) Audrey, Wait
2) 13 Reasons Why
Well, if you email them a query letter, an outline/synopsis and 3 sample chapters, they'll respond in APPROXIMATELY 8 WEEKS. That's really not that bad. Some other publishers take like 15 weeks. How long does it take to scan through a manuscript? I mean, really, 15 weeks? It takes me about 2 days to read a book and I read slow. Ask anyone.

Anxiety. Problems. AH!

Having sent into a place where they do awesomeness aka a literary agent's office, I'm completely freaking out. Calm. Calm. Calm.

Who am I kidding? I CAN'T BE CALM AT A TIME LIKE THIS...or ever.
But still, I am waiting for a reply and if I get one, I'm screwed.
Oh My Goth, I'm not done yet. Fret fret. Panic panic.

On top of that, I've got an alienated best friend, a geometry final and a creep after me again! HOW DO I HAVE TIME FOR ALL OF THIS??

Well, not to ramble again but...OH MY GOTH!!! Why did I do this to myself?

Haley, I blame you.

This is One of My Favorite Thinnnnngs.

Song Quote!
Anywho, I love the following video for many reasons.

One- It has Elmo in it. And anyone that does not love Elmo has problems. And I WILL find them.
Two- It has John Mayer in it. JOHN MAYER!!!!!!! MY HUSBAND.... or atleast one of them.
Three- IT HAS ELMO ANNNND JOHN MAYER IN IT. TOGETHER!!!!! Four- It's cute as heck. *sigh* Life is good.

So here it is. The video of all videos. Or... the ones lacking British Guys.
http://www.people.com/people/article/0,,20256048,00.html

Love (John Mayer and Elmo included.)
Haley_is_British

Writers Bleed Ink

You know, sometimes I wonder (when I'm staring blankly into space), "Why is that object getting bigger even though I'm not moving?"
And then it hits me. Quite literally.
Anyhoo, I've also got this theory, I've been thinking that if you're a writer of some sort or whatever then the writing gene must flow through your veins. Then I got thinking, if writing is in your blood does that mean we bleed ink? Those of us that write, anyway.
But really!! I feel like checking but I'm not in any way emo so I'll just wait till some freak pushes me down in P.E. again. Then I'll know...

I have three new favorite songs that everyone should listen to. Just because.
1) Everything I Ask For by Maine
2) Cross My Heart by Marianas Trench
3) Just Another One by Rocket to the Moon

Believe me, they're all awesome. Anyway, let's all go out and use lemons and limes to fight some of the evil doings in our world, this time in the form of some creepy dude approaching a 13 year old in our neighborhood. C'mon, people, this isn't that hard.
KIDS + KIDS = LOVE THAT WON'T LAST
ADULTS + ADULTS = LOVE THAT WILL PROBABLY END UP IN DIVORCE (as much as no one wants to admit it, it's so true these days)
KIDS + ADULTS = FREAKING FREAKY

Just say no, people, really.

Acronyms Make the World Go Round

You know, people seem to underestimate the power of acronyms. I will now ramble on about what I mean. Haters be warned.
Let us reminisce...

Ahh, there I was. Sitting next to that rather tall fellow in my American Studies class. And there Rachael is, looking rather bored, like always. Must... listen... to... teacher. So I turned my attention forward and there was my rather humorous teacher. But that day we weren't learning about gory battles (yet) but political cartoons.
The one displayed on our cancerous Promethean board was an image of two people talking to turkeys, and of course, PETA is brought up.
"Doth thee knoweth what thy acronym means?" said my perky teacher. He doesn't actually speak like that... but how AWESOME would that be? A girl can dream, so for now, that is what he said.
Anywho, someone answered. But NO! It wasn't one of those annoying know-it-all kids. It was something totally unexpected, yet wonderful all at the same time. The answer shall amaze you.
"PEOPLE EATING TASTY ANIMALS!" the kid said.

HOW INGENIOUS IS THAT?! Maahvelously, I'd say.
So, this got me thinking. Me and Rachael already have KMBO, but what about other acronyms, eh? My list of popular acronyms, and what they could mean:

ANTM- America's Next Top Model.
OR..... Annoying Nasty Tall Men.
PATD- Panic At The Disco.
OR...... People Armed With Dance.
PSP- Playstation Portable.
OR.... Penguins Staging Props.
PTA- Parent Teacher Association.
OR.... Party Time America!
GBA- GameBoy Advance.
OR.... Grandmas Blinging Armadillos.
BTW- By The Way...
OR..... Brightening Tacky Worlds.
TMI- Too Much Information.
OR.... Tracking Multiple Iguanas.
JSYK- Just So You Know.
OR...... Jumping Stupid Young Kids.
ATM- Automatic Teller Machine.
OR..... Allowing Teacher's Mind-Control.
LOTR- Lord of the Rings.
OR..... Lazy Ogres Teaching Rap.
LARP- Live Action Role Playing. (You know, those kids that dress up in capes and pointy hats and whack their best friend with a wooden stick, pretending that their best friend is a dragon, and the stick is a sword.)
OR..... Lovely and Rare Pinatas.
BFF- Best Friends Forever.
OR... Blasted Flipping Friendship!!
AKA- Also Known As.
OR.... Acronym Knowledge Association.

Ahemm... "WHOOP! There it is!"
Ahemm. So, if anyone sees a spare acronym lying around, all lonely and sad. Probably eating lunch alone, and in desperate need of a hug, let me know. I'll find a meaning for it. There WILL be a second AMTWGR.

Love (unless you just so happen to be the person who invented science fairs, or the first person to wear shoulder pads back in the 80's. DARN YOU!)
Haley_is_British

A Follow-up to Life Plans

British, Kimmey and I all left California and went to Reno to elope. We have pictural evidence.

First off, was me and Matt Thiessen. Sorry nonexistant Matt Thiessen fans, we're now married. I know it's kind of a downer but you'll all have to get over it. I actually feel kind of sorry for Matt because he didn't have any other fans to choose from. Poor Matt. Oh well, more for me!


Next was Haley. She married her two of her imaginary invisible boyfriends, Rafael, the Italian, and Pete-ah, the Brit. Haley loves her Brits. Note from Haley: Take THAT Jen and whoever it was that married Channing Tatum!!!







And last was Kimmey. She got married in the front seat of her car. The minister was on a lunch break. She married her imaginary invisible boyfriend: Jackson-Milo Rathbone-Brody-Petey. Kimmey decided to keep her name. So now, she's Mrs. Kimmey Jackson-Milo Rathbone-Brody-Petey. Kimmey now has carpal-tunnel from signing her name on all the papers so many times. Poor Kimmey.

Okay, so none of this happened. Or maybe it did. It's a fifty-fifty chance. Remember, being locked in a very small room for consecutive hours with paint fumes = BAD!

What Paint Fumes Do To You: A Firsthand Experience

Where to start, where to start. We should recap. FLASHBACK!

Well as we walked through the paint store, it was a magical experience when we landed upon the perfect color. Merlin. Pun somewhat intended. After deciding on multiple accent colors, British and I went back to my house and began the grueling task of purple-white-purple-white! "You got white in my purple!" "Well you got purple in my white!" Finally, done and completely loopy--those fumes get to you after a while.

So now, at 12:23am, writing this, we must say au revoire, bloggowers!

Love (unless you're the idiot that decided to make paint smell bad),
-Haley_is_British and Rachael_Writes_On

People Who Seem To Be Scared Of People with Opinions.

Okay, I need to confess: that title has absolutely NOTHING to do with this post but, uh, yeah. It just kinda came to mind. So, now, sitting on the floor of my dad's living room desperately counting down the hours till I shall go home, I feel like saying some stuff.

Stuff That Really Stopped Me In My Tracks Lately (mostly quotes):
1) "If only you knew." Mason, sometime in that stupid book that I will never finish.
2) "McKinley turned to her and spoke his last words: 'We are all going'...There comes a time when we realize that our parents cannot save themselves or us, that everyone who wades through time eventually gets dragged out to sea by the undertow--that, in short, we are all going." Looking For Alaska by John Green, pg. 120
3) "Thomas Edison's last words were: 'It's very beautiful over there.' I don't know where there is, but I believe it's somewhere, and I hope it's beautiful." Looking For Alaska by John Green, pg. 221

In this world where we're surrounded by idiots, creepy stalkers and immature freaks, just remember that murder is illegal and sarcasm is way easier and more satisfying anyway.

Life isn't about waiting for the storm to pass, it's about learning to dance in the rain.

Everything will be okay in the end. If it's not okay, then its not the end.

Somewhere, somehow, in our lives we realize that, according to that book, life isn't a labirynth of suffering as much as it is a tunnel. Over time, your eyes adjust to the drakness in the tunnel and you can finally see the light at the end.

I just wanted to say hi. Ya know, cause I'm nice like that.

"Why are you standing next to that big, poorly disguised hole?" says someone.

"Oh, cause I wanted to see if anyone would fall in it."

"That's a good reason."

Yes, I just thought of those last ones out of my own head. I do do that sometimes...
Now, I know, this is amazing, but I'm actually going to go write my book. Now shhhh.

Epicness at its Most Epic

Okay, the song Womanizer. You've either heard and hated it, or heard it and loved it. Either way, you've heard of it.
And you've heard of All American Rejects... I hope, as they are awesome in every sense of the word.
So, below, I post you the coolest thing since sliced bread... or our blog's start. Either way.
I present to you, Womanizer by The All American Rejects.

http://www.eonline.com/uberblog/b78811_britney_spears_womanizer_gets_cover.html

Love (unless you frown upon my AAR, then I frown upon your face.)
Haley_is_British

Re: Eat that Otis

*Claps*

Well done my blog buddy.

However, though Channing and John can share me, what will my 5,987,472 other boyfriends do? Herman is a little bit shy, and Billy didn't learn the sharing thing. *sigh* What to do, what to do?
Some may argue that they are not actually my boyfriends, but I disagree. They are my boyfriends... in my mind.
Merriam Webster's pirates and depressing people know about them.

In regards to the Quaker thing-
What if we found a Quaker (of the religion) eating Quaker Oats, causing an earthquake while quaking?
Our problems are solved. Epic poem regarding Quakers to come soon.

Your playlist-
Dude. The song Wake Up by Hillary Duff. Weird song. Weird-awesome music video. Sick when doing karaoke.

Dev Patel-
Okay Rachael, I have finally figured out a way so that both of us get his awesomeness. All we need is a cloning device, a really strong (preferably hot and British) dude, my hot pink duct tape, hair gel, a box, an authentic replica of Luke Skywalker's light saber, and Dev, of course...
Details, details really.

Love (unless your not one of my 5,987,472 boyfriends. Can't cheat on them, eh?)

-Haley_is_British

Quakers That Quake: The many definitions of Quaker

Once again, Merriam LIES!
Quakers. Many definitions.
1) Oats with a dude on the canaster
2) Quakers that quake
3) People who follow that religion Quaker
4) People who cause earthquakes

Which is it? The world may never know...*commence da. doh. DAAAAAAAAAAA*

MY Life Plans (eat that Otis!)

Here is how I want my life to plan out. Exactly.
1) Get out of high school and get rich doing something retarded that is undisclosed at the moment. (possibly marketing super magazines)
2) Move to Britain with Haley and Kimmey and go to Oxford while bunking with my stepmom's daughter.
3) Find that dude from Slumdog Millionaire. And his name.
4) Get married and have a kid.
5) Divorce that dude, however sad it will be and move to British Columbia, Canada!
6) Meet a mounty and date that dude while caring for my British youngster and finding Matt Thiessen (he's Canadian, eh!)
7) Find him, get married and ride into the sunset on a moose with a banner on its butt that says, "just married, eh" Have a kid.
8) Convince my British youngster to find a Canadian youngster, get married and have a kid! A-ha! HYBRID!! Muahahaaha
9) Take ALL of them back to Britain with me to find 2 of my best buddies still living in Britain. Kimmey will be married to Jackson Rathbone (with a kid named Aspen) and Haley will be married to Channing Tatum AND John Mayer. She's so awesome that they'll share her.
10) Convince my Canadian kid to marry a British kid and have ANOTHER kid which also equals another hybird.

So, me, Aspen, Kimmey, Jackson, Haley, John, Channing, the British kid, the Canadian kid, the two hybrids, the dude from Slumdog Millionaire and Matt Thiessen plus my mounty can all be roomies in the castle in Harachonia. Alexandria can live there too but she better keep her hands off my Matt. And if creepy mind-reading stalker comes anywhere near me or my hybrids....ooh he's gonna get it. A club to the head and DOUBLE punishment: locked in a room of sunshine, hearts, pink and smiley faces. Or Twilight fans, the source of all evil...for him. Muahahahaha I feel absolutely DIABOLICAL!!

Myans, Magazines, Reptiles, Playlists, British Letters and Vampirism

There's so much to say, let's just get on with it.
Okay, first things first umm there's not really anything that takes priority. I was watching this really super-duper awesome Myan-y show today and it was, let's just say, AWESOME!
What's next.....they predicted the end of the world! Save the date everyone: 12-21-12!! Maybe that'll be my wedding date....to either Matt Thiessen or that dude from Slumdog Millionaire. In British Columia! Cause that's, dare I say, the best of both worlds! A Hybrid!! Haley would be so proud.
Second, I made a super magazine. Whop de doo da!
Third, Reptiles. I actually completely forgot why I put this here. That's sad.
Fourth, Playlists. I'm making a list of songs that say "wake up" a lot.
1) Wake Me Up When September Ends - Green Day
2) Bring Me To Life - Evanescence ("Wake me up inside, wake me up inside...")
3) Wake Me Up Before You Go-Go - idk who
....I need more songs.
Fifth, Haley and I will soon create a system of BRITISH LETTERS!! circa, Kopp's class.
Sixth, the awesomest word ever (I DON'T CARE WHAT MERRIAM SAYS! IT'S LIES!!), Vampirism!!!!

LIES IN AMERICA!!!!

Hello Readers.

So, as I was reading our hilarious blog, I saw Rachael's new post "I Can Use BIG WORDS!".

Just FYI, that is the definition Websters gives you. My theory is that Websters is brainwashing you to think those are the definitions, because she is trying to take over the world... although I think she died a while back. The technicalities are a little skecthy but, just looking at those words, anyone can see that those definitions are ridiculous. Come. On.

For instance:
Rachael said: "Pyrokinesis- basically, lighting something on fire with your mind."
IT SHOULD MEAN: Pirates that invade your mind. Probably cooked up by Webster, which is why, Webster tells you otherwise. Oh Merriam.

Rachael said: "Cryokinesis: controling the element of ice."
IT SHOULD MEAN: People that cry all the time and invade your mind, making you insane. Aka depressing people. This is also a form of mind control that drives you insane... go Merriam.

Rachael said: "Aerokinesis: control of air molecules"
IT SHOULD MEAN: Ok. So, for America, we say airplanes right? For British people, they say aeroplanes. SO BASICALLY, this is another word for BRITISH AWESOMENESS AT HIGH ALTITUDES. And someone doesn't want everyone to move to Britain before they can inact their evil plot. *cough, cough* MERRIAM WEBSTER.

Rachael said: "Transmutation of Matter: changing of a matter into another matter with their mind"
IT SHOULD MEAN: Transmutation... aka HYBRIDS. Merriam MUST BE MAKING SUPERHYBRIDS OF AWESOME PEOPLE. Like me and Rachael.... *commence Jaws theme*

Rachael said: "Thoughtform projection: a physically perceived person, animal, creature, object, ghostly entity, etc., created in the mind and projected into three-dimensional space that can be seen by others (aka Thoughtography)"
IT SHOULD MEAN: Hallucinations, anyone?

Rachael said: "...found out that the umbrella term for being "psychic" is psychokinesis or psychokinetic energy. The term basically breaks down to this: the word is Greek."
IT SHOULD MEAN: Crazy people that invade your mind.


Anywho, these are just ideas. But just in case I am right, be on the lookout for pirates, depressing people, and crazy teenage girls that write blogs under strange names with underscores...
Nahhh.

Love (except YOU Merriam Webster. I'm watching you.)
Haley_is_British

I Can Use BIG WORDS!!

I'm sitting there just staring at my blank wall again and I start thinking (something I rarely do). I start wondering what being psychic is actually called. So, I turn to my trusted companion (besides Haley), Google. I found out that the umbrella term for being "psychic" is psychokinesis or psychokinetic energy. The term basically breaks down to this: the word is Greek. The prefix, "psyche" means mind, soul, or breath. The suffix, "kinesis" means motion. So, together, the word literally means "movement from the mind". I thought, Perfect! Now I have a word to define Addison. Yes!

Then I think, what about the rest? It turns out that that term actually describes many different powers or abilities.
1) Telekinesis: movement of matter
2) Pyrokinesis: speeding the vibration of atoms until ignition if combustible (basically, lighting something on fire with your mind. Awesome, I know.)
3) Cryokinesis: controling the element of ice
4) Aerokinesis: control of air molecules
5) Hydrokinesis: control of water molecules
6) Self Levitation: rising in the air without support
7) Object Deformation: i.e. When people bend a spoon)
8) Influencing Events: i.e. (i think) like in the Matrix when they slow time
9) Biological Healing: name says it. They can heal animate objects with their minds
10) Teleportation: matter disappearing and reappearing somewhere else
11) Phasing Through Matter: as far as I know, this could be going invisible. That's my interpretation, anyway
12) Transmutation of Matter: changing of a matter into another matter with their mind
13) Shape-Shifting: changes form of thy self
14) Energy field (force field): creates a field of protection
15) Control of Magnetism: changes an elecrtic field or current, basically control of electricity
16) Control of Photons: control of light waves/particles
17) Thoughtform projection: a physically perceived person, animal, creature, object, ghostly entity, etc., created in the mind and projected into three-dimensional space that can be seen by others (aka Thoughtography)

I know, there's a lot of large words but I've really gained new momentum to get BACK to the part where he tells her what's going on with all of them. In case I haven't mentioned this before, most of the people in my "story" are psychokinetic. And, the fact that I had to start over thanks to SOMEONE'S (not naming names) *ahem* Kimmey *ahem* negativity. JK, Kimmey, I don't mind. It's way better now anyway. :D The onlty problem with this list is still the scarcity of a name for someone who can, in a way, dream the future.

Worship Your New Dictators.

You can soon all welcome Haley and I as your new rulers. It'll be any day now, as soon as we become smart enough to take over the world. On second thought, that could take a while. Especially if Haley's brain hurts and she can't make it to the sinfridgven!! Under your new dictatorship, there will be these guidelines:

1) Everyone must wear purple and grey at all times. If anyone is caught without grey skinny jeans....just do it. Or else. If you like polyester or shoulder pads, you will be found and deported.
2) The public school system will be replaced with an accent teaching facilities. You must learn a British accent.
3) Everyone will be required to wear one of those hats that people at Hot Dog on a Stick wear.
4) Matt Thiessen will live in our castle with the lead singer from Rooney and Channing Tatum. Plus, Jackson Rathbone, Kimmey is looking for you. She's living in the castle too so I guess you are. NO ROBBY PATTY ALLOWED!
5) Sarcasmfantabulousnessness will become part of daily vocabulary.
6) Creepy Stalker Dude will be burned at the stake. "Burn, baby, burn! Disco Inferno!" (It's a song.) Along with that Megan girl from Mall Madness.
7) Oh NO!!! I almost forgot, Stephenie Meyer can come and be all creative somewhere in the castle that will be located somewhere near Oscar Mayer's house cause he is AWESOME!
8) People must throw things at Robby Patty daily. What it is, we do not care. Just something.
9) Roofs of houses will be made out of the same thing that mood rings are. That way, when we fly over your house in our helicopter, we'll be able to see you mood.
10) All prison sentences will be effective immediately. Punishment for anything we don't like: you must endur (without sleeping) 7 of (insert name of boring teacher)'s english lectures. Of GRAMMAR!
11) NO STALKERS ARE ALLOWED IN THE KINGDOM! Go to Mars or something. Transylvania. That also includes any person(people) claiming to be vampires or cats. And those people with the jackets that have cat ears on top. We will find you and deport you.
12) Lawn chairs are prohibited.
13) Any single British boys must come visit Haley in the castle for, uh....cutoms. And that means only boys BORN British. No fakers.
14) List of Bannished People: Anyone that angers the rulers; my entire P.E. class besides Kimmey, Faith, Megan and Shivani; David Hasselhoff; that girl that married Channing Tatum; Dr. Phil; Russel Brand; Simon Cowell; Rapunzel for her ratty and nasty hair; Mandy Jiroux; Zac Efron; baggy-pant wearers; whoever invented Abercrombie and Fitch; and Jennifer Aniston for dating Haley's fiance, John Mayer.
15) In the morning, when everyone wakes up, music will be blasted from the speakers that no one can see (a song of our choice) and everyone will do the Macarena. It's easy, you can do the Macarena to any song. It's true, we have tested said conjecture.
16) KMBO, once a typo, shall now be known as Kollecting My British Oldsters and/or Killing My Boyfriend's Orangutan. No offense to the monkey.

Failure to follow these rules will result in the heretic being deported from Harachaley. (pronounced har-rae-chul-lee)

But remember, we are not a dictatorship. Well, mostly, but don't think of us that way. ;D
P.S. It might still be awhile off. Who can REALLY predict these things?

The Song I Sang to Rachael, via IM

I find it rather funny that Rachael didn't put in the hard rock part of my song, where I virtually throw a shoe at her because she is making out with Robert Pattinson (aka Robby Patty) which is *of course* why she left me. I'd post it but the Rachael would actually throw a shoe at me. Which would kinda suck. Alot.
And Rachael, does Jasper not know the fantastical mystical powers of the mood ring?! Why does he scoff at them!?! WHYYYYY?!!?! They are so trippy, and wonderful. I think we shall worship them. *does Mood Ring dance*
Anywho, little does Rachael know that she has TWO stalkers. Unless...

Rachael, have you figured me out yet?

Love (unless you hate Mood Rings and my sarcasmfantabulousnessness singing voice)
-Haley_is_British

Sarcasmfantabulousnessness

A word meaning awesome. In the simplest sense, of course.

Haley's Song (which I must say is actually MUCH better than the moose calls that R. Patty calls singing.)

Haley (6:42:30 PM):*sings the blues, like robby patty onl;y worse* Rachael left me, I dunno where she went
Haley (6:42:43 PM):Rachael, left me, in her head there is a dent
Haley (6:42:56 PM):cuz who would, leave me, a girl named Haleeeyyyyyy
Haley (6:43:09 PM):Only Rachael, (edited to protect the innocent), would leave me.
Haley (6:43:28 PM): Rachael is insane, right in her membrane
Haley (6:43:48 PM): Dunno what she thought, but my heart it hurts alot! because rachael left me
Haley (6:44:00 PM):*bum bum bum bum bum, hard rock*

And CUT! I can see your name in lights now, Haley. And who said you couldn't be famous?!?

Hale vs. Hail

Soooooo while being bored and doing homework and IMing and texting and telling my cousin to "SHUT UP!" I was watching Total Drama Island. One of the main characters just HAPPENED to say "Hail, I don't like it! It's so small yet its deadly and it hurts to be pelted with ice!!" Which, I have to say is true. So then I decided I would make a virtual Venn diagram but then I didn't feel like it. Whatever, that's what I do. You'll just have to wait.
and NOW! *lame intro music* I am officially published. Yes, yes, I know, it's Twilight related but...still. My name's there and everything!

http://twilightersanonymous.com/top-ten-tuesdays-top-10-alice-cullen-twilight-series-moments.html#comments

Anyhooooooooo, second order of business: JASPER! Yes, cower in fear! He laughs at your mood rings. Ha ha ha, he booms! His list is next and then, I'll be published again! Muahahahahahaha. And, I guess this is relavent, I wrote 37 more words. Yay for me!!

I just got an IM! Omg, Haley, your so sweet. I loved your song. :D

Ya Dumb Crumpet

Sadly, Haley is a Smart Scone in asking said question, "Why didn't this happen to me?"
If anyone is willing to give their accent or teach me their accent, I will be forever greatful!! :D
But but but but but but but but....BUUUUUTTT, Smarty Scone-y is soooo funny. I'll be going now! Ta ta for now!!

In response to Rachael's latest post.

THERE IS A BRITISH MAGAZINE? MUCH MORE A BRITISH GAY DUDE'S MAGAZINE?! I'M IN!!!!!!!!!

And feel free to steal part of my vintagey style Rachael. But, just remember, as I am your muse, you must give me offerings of beautiful vintage stuff to, ummm, feed my muse-y soul and what not.

Uh huh. That's right. Deal with it. Your muse COMMANDS YOU.

:) Love (unless you neglect your duties to your muse.)
-Haley_is_British

Hello. Is it me your looking fooor?

Hehe, song quote!
Well hello again, and sadly, Rachael does speak the truth. We are back in school. Gosh darn that voice of reason!
And it is sad, for Rachael, everything is super important. Sigh...
OH MY GOD, within the first TEN MINUTES of the Adam Sandler movie, THERE WERE THREE BRITISH PEOPLE. THREE!!!!!!! Best. Movie. Ever.

And a random thought-
As I sat there, watching previews during the beginning of the Adam Sandler movie, aka British Heaven, the Inkheart preview did show up. Yes Rachael is not lying. ANYWHO. My question is the following: How can the dad not be British, but the daughter is.
BETTER QUESTION. Why didn't this happen to me?

Is she a hybrid?! The world may never know...

Anywho, I had yet another British people movie encounter earlier on today. I shall now reenact it.

I sat in my comfy ginormous chair today, watching television. And ALL OF A SUDDEN another commercial break comes on. So, I for some reason didn't flip the channel, and I suddenly realized why.
A commercial came on, and some movie was being advertised. So there was some guy doing something stupid AND THEN ALL OF A SUDDEN THAT REALLLLLYYYY HOT BRITISH DUDE FROM THAT AMANDA BYNES MOVIE APPEARED ON MY TELEVISION SCREEN!
"For the love of fat-free fishsticks!" I screeched. "It's that REALLLLLLY hot british dude from that Amanda Bynes movie! Right on my television screen!"
So, I listened rather intently because he is HOT and BRITISH. And he spoke. WITHOUT THE ACCENT.
Needless to say, I became very depressed.

And that concludes my British Movie Dudes part of my blog. I think I will crawl away now, to sad to see the light of day, as my British dude's accent has gone away.

Looord I sound like freaky dude.

Love (unless you dropped your British accent),
Haley_is_British

P.S. I would laugh ridiculously hard at the top of that building while watching the girls chase Edward. I think I may even start a betting roster for who would get him. :) "And the race is onnn!!!!"

PICTURES GALOORE!!

First of all, yes, yes yes, I AM completely and totally Twihard. Now, not as much as my OTHER friend but yyyeeeaahhh. I just wanted to bring some attention to a few...er...matters.

1) The first picture of, as some would call it, "brooding Edward." For some reason, that picture looks like he's cold or something. I don't know.

2) It looks like he's trying to choke poor Bella!

3) Is she sleeping or did she die already? Does anyone really know?

4) IT'S JASPER AND HE'S AWESOME!!

Okay, this next thing is a real issue. I was surfing perezhilton.com, one of my guilty pleasures.

Anyway, I came across these LOVELY photos. This is SICK AND WRONG: THESE PICTURES ARE FROM AN OLD ISSUE OF ATTITUDE A BRITISH GAY DUDE MAGAZINE!!!

no comment. Just Sayin' (I'm totally channeling Haley, here)

Now, I wanted to keep my twin-ness away from all of that dude's gay-ness so I put it WAY down here. I just got my hair cut kinda like her. And the more I look at her vintage-y style, and then my hair, we look very similar. Haley, I would never steal your vintage thing but I'm going to step out of my purple/grey box and throw a little more vintage in my wardrobe. Of course, anyone reading this could probably care less but I just felt like putting this on here because, once again, THIS IS MY BLOG AND YOU ALL JUST HAVE TO DEAL WITH IT!!! Muahahahahahahhaha!

Just a Quickidy Update.

Sadly, Haley_is_British and I went back to school today *tear tear* and were assigned MASSIVE work soooooo for time purposes the updates of randomness will get fewer and farther apart. For me anyway. I'll probably only post when something really REALLY important happens which, for anyone who knows me, EVERYTHING is really important. It's sad, really. Anyway...

Haley and I went to the movies yesterday and we saw that Adam Sandler movie. It was funny but it had, of all people, VMA ruiner, Russel Brand in it...SOOOOOO I was not that happy but whatever. Then I realized that the dude in Inkheart should read himself out of the book and then read Twilight so that Edward can be chased by mobs of screaming girls. Haley and I will sit on top of a skyscraper and laugh and laugh! I would be chasing Jasper with my other friends.

So everyone needs to go check out twilightersanonymous.com/news-blog so they can see my top ten tuesday list. Why am I calling it mine, I ask myself. It's not.

i just bought an entire bag of paint chips. I don't know what I'm going to do with the ones that I don't like but maybe ill just use them to cover the walls. That would be funny/original!

I'll be back with another post in about 5 seconds ono account that I just found some Twi-rific pictures ANNNNNNNNDD my sense of sarcasm is back up and running!

I'm Back

Ok, so for those of you that are not sick of me, Haley_is_British is back. And I have a few things to say.
1.) Rachael has officially gone insane. I was at that store too and those people were NOT the cast of her book. They were hot British people coming to say hi to me, because I am engaged to John Mayer. Duh.
2.) I too, love Relient K, and will therefore give Matt Thiessen for being Canadian, eh. However, this inspired my next idea...
3.) A Canadian-British HYBRID! I do LOOOOVE my Hybrids. Hybrid cars, Hybrid people, and now Hybrid BRITISH-CANADIANS. Which inspired...
4.) I am a genius.
5.) I have not read Twilight, so I thought the Maybelline thing was because Edward apparently sparkles. My bad.
6.) THE SPARKLE SLEAZE QUEENS WERE A FIGMENT OF MY WONDERFUL IMAGINATION. Just sayin'.

So yes. My brain at work again.

Love (to the hot British boys that may or may not be reading this post... Call me.)
-Haley_is_British

What a Surprise!!

How surprised do you think I was to walk into our local supermarket in my awesome Alice hair and signature purple-on-grey outfit and see my very imaginary, very made-up characters from my story all standing at the check-out register smiling at me? Very. Because, that's what happens when you don't get enough sleep. You tend to find yourself seeing things that do not exist. Quite literally. Anyway, while I was seeing Lena, Addison, Hale and Hartley, I thought that it would be best if I were to get photographic evidence that I REALLY DID SEE THEM! So I did.
The one on the far left is Hartley, then Hale, then Me, then Lena then Addison. And, yes, he has red converse.

As you can see, on the topic of actual writing, all I've done is go to the store and visit with my hallucinations. At least I didn't just take a picture of myself in the store like I was planning. That would have been interesting...*shudders* Not the white room again...

Matt Thiessen

Matt is soooooooooooooo pppeeerrrtttyyy.

Matt Thiessen being the lead singer of Relient K, one of the best bands in the entire freaking world!! Must Have Done Something Right and Which to Bury, Us or the Hatchet? and The Best Thing and ALL THE SONGS!! Omigod, they rule!!! But, anyhoo, sorry, Haley_Is_British, this perrty dude is not British. He's Canadian, eh!

And And And And And And And.......AND!! I found this really super coolio picture and I laughed sooooooo so so so so so so so so so so so hard. But, it only makes sense if you're a Twilight fanatic like me and Mishelle and a buncha people that are my friends but NOT CREEPY STALKER DUDE!! Even if he pretends that he does. Cause he'd be a good actor, eh?

So, without further adoo, here is the HI-larious picture. Because in the Entertainment

Weekly photo shoot, they just HAD to put Robert Pattinson in major lipstick. Anyway, any Twilight fan would know that in the movie, he wore lipstick too! ROBERT PATTINSON IS A DISGRACE TO ALL BRITISH PEOPLE!!

But, alas, ta ta for now cause it's late. HA! What is late but a meaningless time in this big empty world. What did the magical text-message angel tell me? Something. Nothing. Anything. Do words confine meaning in this big empty world?

Just one more thing, remember, happiness is a renewable resource like the love, the fat people of America and Twilight fans. Buahahahahahahahahhaha!!

All About (insert color) Sparkle Sleaze Queens

I just saw a Lime Green Sparkle Sleaze Queen!! Sparkle Sleaze Queens exist in a magical place called zwinky.com. By definition, they wear skimpy clothes, use numbers to subsitute for some letters and think that they are WAY better than everyone else. NOT TRUE!! See for yourself. Most of them carry snowman popsicles....

Hello my future fans!
I am a new poster on Rachael's blog, and yes she knows I am posting here. I did NOT steal her password and find her email address, then sign in and post this. I swear on Channing Tatum's awesomeness.
So I'm going to post on here every now and then. Say the random tid bits I feel like saying, or my witty banter with another person worthy of attention, and what not. And you can't stop me! So HA! Take that!
So yeah. By the way, just so you know who the "crazy lady posting on Rachael's blog is", you can call me British. Haley_is_British. And, according to Rachael, Haley_is_British (in her own mind).
Love (unless you scare me),
Haley_is_British.

*Sigh*

You know that you have a serious case of Writer's Block when you open up Microsoft Word then go on to do something else for an hour and come back to Microsoft and see that blank "Document 1" and then realize that you forgot to open your writing up when that was why you got onto your computer in the first place.

Hmmm...

Sometimes I think the surest sign that intelligent life exists elsewhere in the universe is that none of it has tried to contact us.

I found THIS on youtube last night.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=1u718MmV0dg

Yes it was hilarious but, c'mon, puppets???

Anyway, I haven't done much in the line of actual writing but I did sit for about 58 minutes and stare blankly at the wall trying to solve one issue or another with my writing that probably was, in reality, very simple. Something like what color car. It's all thanks to my Language teacher that continues to insist that everything is in a story for a reason. Even the season matters! So, of course, my story/book/sad attempt at writing starts in Winter because Winter is a metaphor for the end/death of something. In this case, the end of her old life and the bud of a new one. And, no, she doesn't move like every other story starts. She's already somewhere and she's already got friends and she isn't the random outcast that the best things always happen to. It's funny because she doesn't even WANT them to happen! She refuses multiple times, a symbol for independence, but that stupid dude still pursues her. *sigh*

Also, this might just be me here, but did anyone think that the fact that someone through a bra at Joe Jonas was slightly disturbing? And the fact that he dodged it was even higher on the disturbance scale? But the look on his face.....Priceless. hehe.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=QISq7rL5AXU

New Year, New Blog

Happy New Year!
Hopefully everyone had an amazing holiday vacation. Here's to going back to school. Yippee.

I'm here to act as a window into my complicated brain. Consider yourselves lucky, most people don't know anything about my book because I won't tell them. Here, you'll get a full summary, bios about characters and you can even give me your opinions. I don't want to sound self-centered but I'm really hoping to become a famous author one day and that won't happen unless I get myself out there. Plus, I vow to say something when something really REALLY big happens in the Twilight universe. I don't care if you could care less or are ecstatic about another added feature to this blog, it's mine and I can do whatever I want.

Authors are known to be tempermental. You've been warned.